The View from Olympus: His Majesty’s Birthday

Every year, I telephone my sovereign lord and reporting senior, Kaiser Wilhelm II, on his birthday to offer my best wishes. He likes to surprise me–some fool of a historian recently wrote that he had no sense of humor–and this year he did. The night before, he paid me a visit.

Like my old friend Mr. Scrooge, I first thought a bit of undigested cheese might be giving me a strange dream. Then I wondered if the figure in my bedchamber were the ghost of Imperial birthdays past, present, or to come. It turned out to be a bit of all three, but His Majesty was no ghost. Neither was the person he had with him.

I stretched to attention and quickly recognized my other visitor’s Austro-Hungarian uniform, decorated with the Golden Fleece. Before I could say “Happy Birthday” to His Majesty, he introduced his companion: Kaiser Karl. He was clearly a Hapsburg, but not the last Kaiser of Austria-Hungary, at least from the photographs I had seen (my landlady in Vienna in the ’70s had known him well).

“May I present my friend Kaiser Karl of the Holy Roman Empire?” said my Kaiser. “Get dressed. We’re going to visit his domain.”

Curiouser and curiouser, I thought, as I threw on knee breeches, green Jäger jacket and a Feldmütze. My usual cuirassier’s uniform takes an hour to get into, and a valet.

Out front, a zeppelin awaited, stretching the length of my block. We boarded the control car, the commander (Mathy, no less) set the engine telegraph to “Future,” and with the “Up ship!” we were off. I asked Kaiser Karl, “So I take it the Holy Roman Empire has made a comeback?”

“It has,” he replied, smiling.

“And the House of Hapsburg again rules Austria?”

“The House of Hapsburg has always ruled Austria,” he responded. “In the divine Economy, an Austrian republic is an impossibility.”

Our tour of the restored Holy Roman Empire took us first over northern Italy, where the double eagle black-and-yellow flag flew proudly from Milan to Venice. “The northern Italians were so glad to come home, “Kaiser Karl said. “They have as much in common with southern Italians as a horse has with an aardvark. Northern Italy knew it was part of Mittleuropa.”

“And the south?” I enquired.

“Again the Kingdom of the the Two Sicilies,” answered Kaiser Karl. “Naples is once more one of the most beautiful cities in Europe.”

We flew quickly over Vienna (a return for tea at Schönbrunn was planned for the afternoon) and landed in Berlin. The Imperial Tram was waiting to give us a quick tour of the city. The first surprise was that, in addition to the Prussian eagle, the double eagle was also on all the important buildings. “My house now rules Germany in fief from the Holy Roman Emperor,” Kaiser Wilhelm said smiling.

“And what had Bismarck to say to that?” I asked.

“Oh, you know Bismarck,” answered Kaiser Wilhelm. “He grumbled, but a goodly present of fois gras settled him down.”

“So there is fois gras in Heaven?” I asked hopefully.

“Don’t you read Chesterton? Heaven is eating fois gras to the sound of trumpets.”

Our quick tour of Berlin brought other, perhaps more important surprises. There were children everywhere, most of them blond, blue-eyed German children. People were again well-dressed, with coats, hats, and gloves. Most men were smoking a pipe or cigar. Strikingly, not a mosque or a Islamic head scarf was to be seen, and no shop sign was in a language other than German.

“What happened to all the Islamics?” I asked.

“Most converted, and the others went back to their part of the world,” Kaiser Karl answered. “The official religion of the Holy Roman Empire is Christianity. Otherwise it could not be holy. We tolerate some other religions, but not all. Violent religions are outlawed. As was already clear by your time, Islam is violent, because it consider forced conversion or adherence legitimate. Our choices were either outlaw Islam or suffer an endless war on our own soil.”

“So all of Europe has done this?” I questioned.

“Some countries, including Sweden and Britain, allow Sufis, who are the only non-violent Islamic sect,” answered Kaiser Wilhelm.

“But even the Swedes eventually had to face reality. And all the nations of Europe now require immigrants, regardless of where they come from to acculturate. There are no more foreign enclaves on Europe’s soil.”

“And all the nations of Europe are real nations once again,” added Kaiser Karl. “We have reversed the globalist process of homogenization. The British wear bowler hats and take afternoon tea. The French have dinner mid-day and allow two hours to enjoy it. A movement called Retroculture has spread across Europe. Those who join pledge to restore the old ways of their land, their people, in their own lives. Retroculture’s motto is, ‘What worked before can work again.’ And it does.”

One big question had been bubbling up inside me through our tour. Finally I let it out. “In my time, Europe was finished, a dying theme park governed by a bad copy of the Soviet Union called the EU. Between the tyranny of the globalist market and the nihilism of the culturally Marxist European elite, it had no future. How did it turn itself around?”

The two Emperors looked at each other and smiled. “That is a surprise we won’t spoil for you, replied Kaiser Wilhelm. “Let’s just say that for the secularists, it was a real jaw-dropper.”

“Can’t you give me a hint?” I begged.

“Remember what Pope John Paul II said toward the end of his life, answered Kaiser Karl. “‘Things will continue bad for a little while longer, then they will get better.'”

And with that, our zeppelin deposited us at Schönbrunn for a good, English cup of tea (and pastries from Demels). favicon

15 thoughts on “The View from Olympus: His Majesty’s Birthday”

  1. I don’t understand. He describes foreigners blending into the population and then immediately afterward says that the process of homogenization was halted. Asians CANNOT be European. We don’t need them muddying up our gene pool.

  2. This would be my version of paradise, except for one thing: Prussia would never be just a “fief” of the Holy Roman Empire. The catholic Empire for the south, and the Lutheran Prussian empire of the north, were completely compatible as separate entities (and the Catholic parts of Prussia were quite comfortable in the Protestant German empire — e.g., it was the protestant Kaiser Wilhelm I who funded the completion of the Catholic Cologne Cathedral).

  3. I’ve herd Brent say that Bill’s nostalgia is for 1950s America. I wonder if instead it is 1900 Austria Hungary?

  4. This assumes Christendom will not be reunified. The first split is already healing

    WWI was the final blow, but the Reformation tore Europe apart and gave nice excuses for wars and conversion by the sword or gun.

    Of course the one thing missing here and in most discussions is the Church. Note how there is no mention of churches being constructed or multiplying.

    This is what will either cause the vision to come to pass or fade into an early church style persecution: Revival, a third “Great Awakening”. I say that as a Roman Catholic – we’ve had our own version (e.g. St. Francis de Sales).

    The state is only one part of society and it merely keeps the peace and order – the national government does the international stuff, but most things happen at the provincial (us: individual state) level, or better yet at the county level. The cities and tribes are usually centered somewhere within a county. It should have few, obvious laws, and it would be better for a cop to help a drunk home than arrest them for public drunkenness. Violence, theft, and fraud destroy the order.

    The church is supposed to be the center of ordinary life. This is where Islam differs having no distinction between church and state. Christians were persecuted by the State from the beginning, so for a long time, they remembered that it needed to be a well trained dog, ready to bite an attacker, but “Do not give holy things to dogs”, and “Render unto Caesar” were the basis – Marriage was holy. The churchs’ purpose was to make and keep people good, beyond not harming, stealing, etc. To worry about truth and beauty as well. Where the poor and sick sought the help Jesus commanded be given. When disasters or some problem came up, DeToqueville noted there was no royal (or secular) bureaucracy, the community came together to solve it. It wasn’t always the church, but it was in the shadow of the church, not the state.

    Right now, we have a zombie economic system. Like supercold water waiting for someone to tap it on the side at which point it will freeze throughout, the massive debts exceed all possible GDP by a large margin. What cannot be paid back will not be paid back. The state is right in the middle of this. When it collapses, with most of the government with it, that will be the tell. The churches were packed after 9/11, but instead of introspection about him maybe judging us, it was turned into some kind of triumphalism and secularized that allowed us to do evil things, or as “A man for all Seasons” put it: “I’d cut down every law to get at the devil; So Roper, and what would you do then when the Devil turned on you, all the laws being down?”. So the Abortion Holocaust continues unhindered, a million innocents every year within our borders being murdered, but we feel good as long as we are doing God’s work by killing a few “towelheads”.

    But it goes deeper than a mere awakening or revival. Man has been abolished (the title of a short book by CS Lewis that everyone needs to read). If we were to abolish the abolition, we must return to the Natural Law. Objective Morality which was discovered and embedded in our Traditions. Including many inconvenient things (e.g. that contraception is a grave evil along with most of the other views on sexual freedom – which Lind above seems to note with all the Children; We need to take care of our parents and respect elders, but also do so for children; Marriage is till death). The hard part is not finding out what is true, it is avoiding the tendency to attempt to rationalize an exception. I find it both ironic and humorous that Ayn Rand gets derided, but she believed in Objective morality, her fictional characters put honor first, and settle payments “to the last penny”. Yet when she wanted to have an adulterous affair, well, even she has her rationalization hamster.

    There are very few hard cases in going from truth to good. And we can’t follow them due to our fallen nature. Yet the most common mistake is to have the government instead of the church try to fix things. Reality tends to sort things out for the lesser cases. Government will be usurped by the devil – we can’t elect angels, only real, actual men. So the necessary evil of government must be restricted to using its evil only against even worse evildoers. One part of the Natural Law is that it is not permissible to do evil in order to bring about a greater good. (God may permit evil to bring about good, but we are not God, and become a Devil when we wish to play God). The moment someone looks at government as a good instead of an evil, he is lost. That is merely a greater version of the error about punishment which we have also completely accepted:

    That is the vision of the original US Constitution limiting government – its imperfections are few, but the failures of those who tried to follow it were great, but it is no different than following anything else – the 10 commandments are no less valid because they are rejected even more often, or reinterpreted to find they don’t mean what they plainly say.

  5. “The northern Italians were so glad to come home, “Kaiser Karl said. “They have as much in common with southern Italians as a horse has with an aardvark. Northern Italy knew it was part of Mittleuropa.”
    I wonder if this is why there are so many Italian and German names together in the future Castalia of Hesse’s “Glass Bead Game”?

  6. The Sufis are basically nonviolent (though they led revolutions in the past), but they are not a sect of Islam; rather, from the outside, they are a fraternal organization like the Masons. In fact, one Sufi group considers the Masons to be Sufis themselves. From the inside, the Sufis are engaged in the development of mature human beings. Just because you grow up to be big and tall doesn’t necessarily mean you’re mature.

  7. “Violent religions are outlawed. As was already clear by your time, Islam is violent, because it consider forced conversion or adherence legitimate. Our choices were either outlaw Islam or suffer an endless war on our own soil.”

    Lol. Islam isn’t violent. Muslims are. The main reason for that is genetic. I also wish to see some evidence that forced conversion is legitimate in Islam, but isn’t in Christianity because history is full of examples that prove otherwise: South America, Finland, eastern Europe etc

    The concept of dhimmi proves that you’re wrong. Conversion or the sword is not part of Islam, unbelievers merely have a disadvantaged status. Much like in traditional Christendom. I also find the claim that endless war would be inevitable to be ridiculous. One wouldn’t need to ban Islam to prevent any troubles. Resticting immigration of low IQ, inbred Muslims (i.e. most of them) would be sufficient. Besides, how exactly are you going to ban a religion anyway?

    Finally, have you ever taken a look at the Jewish Bible and the Talmud? Jews are far more contemptuous of goyim than Muslims are of kuffar. Would Jews be allowed in the Holy Roman Empire?

  8. This is one major area of disagreement I have with Mr. Lind. For him Christianity is everything.

  9. I don’t know. But I do know that the Muslim problem wouldn’t exist if Europe and America were for white Europeans. Lind puts his personal religious convictions before any kind of racial preservation.

  10. Maybe I missed something. I didn’t get the impression he thought Christianity and racial preservation were incompatible. Victoria dealt with race.

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